I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
