Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I currently don't understand fingers.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
