Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
