I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
