As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
