You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
