What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
