He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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