I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'm both gender and math confused
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
