there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
