i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
