Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
