he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
