Whod you bang
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
