OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Randomize
