I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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