I don't usually arrange sex via text message
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
