Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
