My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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