you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
A bitchslap is in order.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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