omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
