There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
