I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
