There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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