I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
