lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
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fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
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Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?