Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.