Its about making memories worth repressing
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"