If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
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We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
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I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut