Texts From Last Night

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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?

  (914): View more from New York

  please be gone before i get back

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  (201): i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf? (914): please be gone before i get back http://tfl.nu/y347
  Replies (2) Good night (680) Bad night (1291)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning

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  (202): the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning http://tfl.nu/vrio
  Replies (6) Good night (605) Bad night (1871) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  that's awkward

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  (603): Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple' (1-603): that's awkward http://tfl.nu/90bf
  Replies (5) Good night (861) Bad night (2286) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes

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  (419): I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes http://tfl.nu/4b4j
  Replies (16) Good night (7743) Bad night (592)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid

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  (203): I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid http://tfl.nu/8jas
  Replies (9) Good night (6679) Bad night (772) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.

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  (484): I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/prts
  Replies (15) Good night (4823) Bad night (1202) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.

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  (832): I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see. http://tfl.nu/uq0v
  Replies (11) Good night (2189) Bad night (1001) Order T-Shirt
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.

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  (316): If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already. http://tfl.nu/vt4q
  Replies (13) Good night (2722) Bad night (889) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later

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  (914): I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later http://tfl.nu/hx0e
  Replies (4) Good night (2940) Bad night (756) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.

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  (310): When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing. http://tfl.nu/i23j
  Replies (16) Good night (2891) Bad night (865) Order T-Shirt
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet

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  (507): Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet http://tfl.nu/981y
  Replies (7) Good night (1069) Bad night (1159) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...

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  (310): Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night... http://tfl.nu/707e
  Replies (15) Good night (3136) Bad night (538) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  cocks speak louder than words, as they say

  (914): View more from New York

  Nobody says that.

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  (207): cocks speak louder than words, as they say (914): Nobody says that. http://tfl.nu/ymrk
  Replies (8) Good night (1601) Bad night (351)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?

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  (407): When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad? http://tfl.nu/v8ru
  Replies (8) Good night (1296) Bad night (363) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will

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  (313): Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will http://tfl.nu/g3an
  Replies (6) Good night (611) Bad night (291) Order T-Shirt

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