Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good