So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
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I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.