so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
