Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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