I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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