He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
