I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
