Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
