Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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