New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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