This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
