Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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