He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize