Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
