shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
