best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
