I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
