Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
