I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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