Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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