I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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