Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
