i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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