our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
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Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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