my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize