Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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