he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
