dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
we made out on top of his cat.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize