the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
