Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
