mondays should just be called national damage control day
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
