We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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