Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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