I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
