He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
nutella sex= disaster
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
FUCK WHALES
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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