I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
my being single is dangerous.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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