google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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