official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
