dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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