WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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