I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
